& Shih tzu

So this thing looks exactly like an ewok. I mean look at it. Just turn it into a bear and give it a spear, it's an ewok. That's not the point. Honestly I never really cared for small dogs, ankle bitters, foot stools, whatever you want to call them but I will bit my tongue on this one. Shih tzus are actually pretty cool. They make look kind of retarded sometimes with their massive underbite and eye boogers. The ones I always saw at dog shows looked like my grandmother's throw pillows so naturally I didn't like them. Yea, I know I used to show dogs. Shut up I won scholarship money and a lime green tv. The whole point of this is that I am confessing I actually like the little brats. My recently acquired job as a dog washer has me discovering which breeds I actually can stand and which are complete idiots. German Shepherds for instance. Generally I really like them but when a dog has never seen water and it's doing barrel rolls in tub to get away from the hose I am going to label it an idiot. Every shih tzu I have dealt with has been tolerant to washing, soaping, brushing, and mostly drying. They even let me wash their head and face, the nemesis of dog washing. I'm not about to get bit because your dog wants to eat me for washing the drool off its face. Another breed I find gross is the american bulldog. Not because the animal its self is gross but because if they are not taken care of properly they grow yeast in between the flaps on their face. Seriously it's nasty. I had to wash that. I felt bad for this poor dog. If you aren't going to take care of a high maintenance dog then just don't buy it. Wasn't the point of this about shih tzus? Yea about them, they are really sweet dogs and if you are looking for a good family dog I would suggest one of them. I know it's a fem dog but chances are your wife, girlfriend, or daughter is going to pick it out anyways so you are going to look gay walking whatever dog she picks.

Buying Pets & Shit

Everyone has to get their pets from somewhere. Whether you stole it from your parents, a friend, or actually did some research and bought it from a breeder, they don't just magically appear. The only thing I have to say on this topic is please, for the love of god, don't buy it from a pet store. Anyone that knows anything about pet stores knows that quality pet stores do not "sell" dogs and cats. A respectful pet store will work with a local organization to "adopt" dogs and cats out. Any pet store that is selling dogs is normally getting them from a puppy mill. If you don't know what that is you should Google it before you buy a dog. Puppy mills are by far the worst place to ever get anything from. Animals there are not only used and abused, but are infested with diseases and genetic problems. If you think a dog coming from a puppy mill is pure bred you shouldn't own a dog. If you want to really help out go adopt a pet from a shelter of some kind. Chances are there is some kind of rescue organization for the species of your choice to get a pet from. If you are a snob and only want "pure bred" dogs or cats at least do some research and make sure it is a respectable breeder. A respectable breeder will generally only breed one kind of animal, has some kind of paperwork or lineage to show you, and their animals are well kept and healthy. It may take you some time to find a good breeder. If you can find a breeder in a day, you haven't looked hard enough. Also, buying a pet is a commitment not an impulse buy. You need to make sure you are prepared to deal with animals because they can be like children on a caffeinated sugar overdose. If you don't have patience, don't get a pet. Better yet buy a fish, or a pet rock, whichever you won't kill.

For those of you in the Chicagoland area, I can help point you in the right direction if you are looking for a small furry, amphibious, or reptilian friend. Scott's All Animal Expo at the DuPage County Fairgrounds in Wheaton, IL is a pretty awesome place to buy these kinds of pets. There are tons of breeders, exhibitors, and vendors that have everything you need for small pets. This is where I bought my crested gecko from a reputable breeder. The prices at these kinds of expos are also going to be way cheaper than anything you can find at a pet store, not only for the animal, but the cages also. These animals are also generally better cared for and much healthier than pet store animals because they have loving owners that specialize in a certain species. BEWARE: Not every breeder is reputable. Make sure to inspect the health of the animals before you buy them. Ask questions. If they can't give you the time of day they are clearly idiots that don't care about their animals. For example, I saw an entire table full of crested geckos with no tail. Seriously?! WTF. Not cool. Most breeders have one or two that don't have a tail and are usually discounted. This vendor wanted a ridiculous amount for his lizards. Don't buy animals from people like this. They are only trying to make money and don't care if their animals live or die once they sell them. F*cking jerks. Most of the people selling them are good people though just don't be naive when you buy things. Try to bring someone with you that knows a thing or two about animals. If you have no idea what you are getting yourself into, go just for fun the first time and then research what you like to see what pet best fits you.

Here is the website for Scott's All Animal Expo. Happens twice a month and if I were you I'd go. Even if you don't want to buy anything it's something fun to go do with your family, kids, significant other, or pet rock.

http://www.allanimalexpo.com/